Ali Wren

whole-hearted living, healthy-minded eating

Enneagram Final Thoughts

The goal of understanding our number is to develop self-knowledge and learn how to recognize and relax our grip on the reflexive, self-defeating behaviors of our personalities. As we do, we can live more authentically and relate to others in wiser, more loving ways.  

—Ian Cron and Suzanne Stabile, The Road Back to You Study Guide

If you have discovered your type, that is wonderful. If you are still trying to figure out your type, be patient–it takes time. Identifying our type is not a stopping point; it’s a starting place. Let’s not treat this as another personality indicator. Let’s use this tool to improve the quality of our lives and our relationships. It won’t be easy, but growth rarely is. These steps are helpful to me in my journey, and I thought they might help you, too:

Keep learning and growing. (Check out my Resources post.)

Figure out your subtype.

Involve your (safe) community. Start a discussion about the Enneagram.

Be brave and grow in self-love and self-awareness. Ask others to help you understand how you can be a better _____ (spouse, friend, or coworker).

As you become more self-aware, more self-compassionate, and more compassionate toward others, focus on relaxing your grip on that one number, and opening up yourself to the other eight types.

Create an affirmation or mantra for your specific type. Here is some truth I wrote for each type:

Ones: There are some things you can’t control. Remember to receive grace over guilt. Focus on progress over perfection. 

Twos: You are loved for who you are, not for what you do for others. It’s okay to love yourself. 

Threes: You are loved for who you are, not for what you accomplish. You are appreciated, but even more than that–you are loved, no matter what. 

Fours: You are loved for who you are all of the time, not just when you feel lovable. You are worthy of the same joy and love that everyone else experiences. 

Fives: You are seen, noticed, valued, and understood. You are a gift to this world. 

Sixes: You are worthy. You are safe. It’s okay to trust yourself. 

Sevens: There is beauty in the present moment. Stop for a minute to soak it in. 

Eights: You are lovable. It’s okay to open up about your feelings. Your vulnerability is a strength. 

Nines: You are seen. It’s okay to stand up for yourself, even if it feels uncomfortable. 

It’s been so fun to be able to share about my Enneagram journey, and to share from women representing all nine types. I’d love to hear more about your Enneagram journey. Fill out my blog contact page, or comment on this blog post.

Thanks for following along.

Love, Ali xo

This is part of a 31-day series: The Enneagram. To read all posts, head here.

About Ali

I'm Ali. I write about my journey of living a full and healthy life with food allergies, overcoming the comparison trap, and cultivating authenticity.

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  • Tara Ulrich

    Thank You for this: “You are loved for who you are, not for what you do for others. It’s okay to love yourself.”