I was getting ready for brunch with friends one Saturday morning. I had been looking forward to getting together with this group of friends for weeks. We are hardly all together in the same room anymore, and it was the one thing I couldn’t wait for!
Adam forgot that I needed the car, and he was 30 minutes away. I had to catch an uber, and showed up 20 minutes late. So many emotions were compiling: I was mad at Adam for forgetting an important date I had communicated to him. I get super anxious when I’m feeling rushed or running late, and when things don’t go as planned. I suddenly felt inferior to my friends. I’m the girl who shows up late to things, who can’t get her act together. I’m the one who doesn’t have a big house like everyone else, or two cars. I don’t have any children yet, and that all makes me not enough. I started crying in that uber car, forcing myself to make small talk with the driver.
When I arrived at the restaurant, I actually wasn’t the last person. And my friends welcomed me with open arms, as if I had arrived on time. No one made me feel bad for any reason; their love and acceptance put me at ease. My feelings of shame and fear of being judged came from the stories I was telling myself.
Sometimes we feel like we have to explain ourselves to our friends. I’m learning that authentic friendships embrace you just as you are. They love you, and they support you–free from judgement and shame.
What are some stories you tell yourself that can prevent you from authentic friendship? Who are the friends that love you no matter what?
This is part of a series called 31 Days of Authentic Friendship. Click here to see all posts.
I'm Ali. I write about my journey of living a full and healthy life with food allergies, overcoming the comparison trap, and cultivating authenticity.