The Heavy Lift
Our marriage mentors and friends Joe and Kerri once told us how important it is to recruit a home team in our marriage–a group of friends to lean on, turn to, and learn from. Although Adam and I have some amazing friendships (individually and as a couple), we are still seeking more couple friendships to add to our home team. A home team is important in all stages of life, and it takes time to build.
Several years ago, Adam and I bought a gym membership. Up until that point, I had been active in running, pilates, and lifting lightweight dumbbells at home, but I had never been to a large gym with so much equipment! It was intimidating to a newbie like me. Adam, along with a personal trainer, had to teach me how to properly and safely use the machines.
The easiest way to break a friendship is to put too much pressure on just one friendship. It’s basically asking that friend to fulfill a need that is meant for many friendships. Like me at the gym, looking awkward at the beginning as I was learning how to use the machines, the heavy lift in friendships can feel awkward. You might feel out of place at first–like you don’t belong. As I grew more comfortable with new weightlifting machines, I branched out and tried new and more challenging exercises. Just like our muscles need new challenges to grow, a friendship needs to grow by going to deeper places.
Do you have friends on your home team? If not (yet), don’t give up. Put yourself out there. It will be awkward, but it will also be completely worth it.
Do you need to take your current friendships to deeper places? Go for it. Take a risk. Friendships need growth.
I’m on this journey with you.
Love, ALI XO
This is part of a series called 31 Days of Authentic Friendship. Click here to see all posts.
I'm Ali. I write about my journey of living a full and healthy life with food allergies, overcoming the comparison trap, and cultivating authenticity.